Enjoying Family During the Holidays

Recently, my parents came down to visit my wife and I for the first time since we’ve lived in Houston, TX. It was an absolutely wonderful time of fellowship during the Thanksgiving week! Last week, my wife and I boarded a plane to fly out to Las Vegas, NV to see her family for Christmas. I’m thoroughly enjoying my time here, as Christmas is always warmer with family. But have you ever been in an awkward family gathering? I know I have!

When my parents were visiting for Thanksgiving, we had Dr. David Gibbs speaking in our Sunday services. It’s always a privilege to get to hear Dr. Gibbs, and anyone who’s met him knows that he is one of the kindest men in the world. But I’ve also come to learn that he has incredible wit and humor (after all, he is a lawyer). We were making small talk after the Sunday morning service, and he was talking with my Dad about the farming industry. There was a lull in conversation, and Dr. Gibbs graciously asked my wife if I was being a good husband to her. Of course she said yes, but then he turned the tables and asked if I had ever made her cry! Now I try my best to be the husband to my wife that she deserves, but I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not perfect. Before anyone could respond, my Dad blurts out, “Oh yeah, he makes her cry all the time!” Wow. Thanks Dad. Of course that isn’t true, and after a few awkward laughs we all went our separate ways. We’ve all been there, in some shape or form. Often times during family gatherings, due to differing political views, church backgrounds, personal standards, or simply being out of our comfort zone, it can get a little tense. So, what can you do to make sure that you’re enjoying family this holiday season?

1. Practice Love

Jesus told his disciples in John 13:35 “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” I’ve heard it put like this, “The best advertisement for Christianity is a satisfied customer.” Often times we forget when we’re around family that we are still called to live out our Christianity. Denying ourselves and taking up our cross is not something we’re called to do only when we’re ready for it. Christ never said that when you go home you could lay your cross down on the front porch. He commanded us to love others, and others includes family.

2. Pour in Laughter

The Bible says in Proverbs 17:22 “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” You’ll get out of your memories what you put into your actions. My best memories with family, whether immediate or extended, all have one thing in common: laughter. I’m afraid that sometimes we think of God as being only a Pious Being so far above us that He cannot understand our laughter or humor. May I remind you, especially at Christmas time, that Christ became a man (Philippians 2:5-11), and that He declared through the book of Hebrews that He can be touched with our feelings (Hebrews 4:15). Christ, when He was here on earth was especially beloved of what age group? That’s right, children! Why do you think that was? I’m sure there were many reasons, but I firmly believe that one of them was His genuine smile and merry heart. Children don’t run to people who constantly scowl and complain. They run to people who they can sense have real joy. While we’re talking about laughter, let me encourage you to do this as well: learn to laugh at yourself! Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.

3. Petition Forgiveness

In order to get along with people in general (not just family), we must realize something. No one is perfect. Not you, not me, and not even your sweet Momma. The new birth of our spiritual lives is based on the forgiveness that was granted to us in Christ Jesus. But God is just as concerned with us forgiving others as He is with His forgiving of us. If you don’t believe me, simply look at Matthew 6:12, where Jesus teaches his disciples to pray, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” In order to enjoy our relationships, we must confess to God our faults (I John 1:9), lavish compassion on others (Matthew 18:21-35), and maintain a controlled temperament (James 1:20; Psalm 141:3; Psalm 119:165). We should regularly petition forgiveness in every area of our life.