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The Good that Comes From Marriage

Recently I had a dream in which I was visiting my old friend, Larry Hargrave out in the country. The Hargrave’s are one of the pioneer families in our area. They even have roads named after their forefathers. Along with their longevity in the community comes a level of respectability, so what I imagined was probably not far removed from things that really happen to them. I dreamed Larry and I had walked out of his house and we were sitting on a picnic table in their front lawn when a young man and his girlfriend drove up. The young man and his girlfriend sat down across from Larry and the young man asked, “Larry, can you tell me one good thing that comes from marriage?” At that moment, I began to wake up. In my twilight between sleep and awakening, I immediately went into prayer. I said, “Lord, what a question! The youth today are reevaluating everything, even the institution of marriage. Lord, what shall we answer this young man?” I did not stay asleep long enough to hear Larry’s answer, but I did wake up in time to get God’s answer. Let’s talk about five good things that come from marriage.

1. There is some good that comes from not being married.

Not everybody is supposed to be married. Jesus said, “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it” (Matthew 19:12). A eunuch is a person incapacitated for conjugal relations. According to our Lord there are three ways in which this happens. First, there are some that are born this way. By the way, they are not homosexual. These eunuchs would fall under the category of male or female but in a state of non-sexual appetite. Secondly, there are some that were made this way by surgical procedure. In Bible days, wicked despots would castrate men who worked in or near the bedchamber of their queen to assure no hanky-panky took place. (I would be remiss if I did not mention that when the world tries to make people moral apart from God, their efforts are nearly always futile). Then finally, there are those who, under their own volition, have chosen to serve God in a celibate state. In this instance, God supernaturally gives grace and power to maintain a pure lifestyle. This is a rare gift and is to be commended in the Body of Christ. Paul said, “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I” (I Corinthians 7:8). “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord” (I Corinthians 7:32). There is a sweet abandonment in which the unmarried can give themselves wholly to the Lord. This can often be useful on a rough mission field not conducive to family life. This specially called person can be a real pioneer for God. Remember, however, it is a gift that God supplies.

2. Good can come from marriage because you have an opportunity to make the world a better place with your team effort.

Jesus said, “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:19). We see from these words of our Lord that there is power in teamwork and there is no tighter team in the earth than a Christian husband and wife. Throughout the history of the church we see this truth in action. In Acts, chapter eighteen we are introduced to a Christian couple by the name of Aquila and Priscilla. They were instrumental in discipling the eloquent teacher, Apollos. Paul said of this couple, “Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus” (Romans 16:3). Time would fail us if we went into detail to explain the power of husband and wife teamwork in the history of the church. For your further personal research you might look up a few outstanding married couples such as, Howard and Geraldine Taylor, Adoniram and Ann Hasseltine Judson, John and Betty Stam, Charles and Susannah Spurgeon, and William and Catherine Booth. If you will allow me the personal reference, I am convinced my work in the ministry would not be what it is today if it were not for my wife. Nothing prepares the heart to receive the Word of God like good, godly music. My wife rarely knows what I am preaching about ahead of time. She finds out like most all of you what I am speaking on when I say, “Open your Bibles please.” She probably doesn’t even realize how powerfully the songs she has chosen blesses me and prepares my heart to preach. The “teaming” of God in a Christian couple’s life is something beautiful to behold.

3. Good can come from marriage because we become a completed person.

In Genesis 2:18 we read, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” According to biblical scholar David Freedman, the Hebrew word translated into English as “help” is ezer. This word is a combination of two roots, one meaning “to rescue; to save,” and the other meaning “to be strong.” Just as the roots merged into one word, so did their meanings. At first ezer meant either “to save” or “to be strong,” but in time, ezer, said Freedman, “was always interpreted as ‘to help’ a mixture of both nuances.” The phrase “meet for” is the word,"k’enegdo." The word can mean standing against or in front of. This is not the connotation that the woman is standing against as an antagonist to man. It bears the meaning she is in front of him as though they are standing looking at a mirror. She is the opposite that compliments. By the way, it is a meaning that speaks more of equality than superiority. Allow me to explain further. It is like the right hand and the left hand, opposite but the same. Imagine trying to pick up a shovel when our hands are positioned the same. It is like the right and left wing of the airplane, opposite but the same. We cannot fly with one wing. Therefore, the man and woman together become a unit that is non-stoppable. Together we may get life’s jobs done. Together we may mount up with wings and take the sky God has intended for us. When a man and woman marry, there is a compliment that makes us complete. Jesus said, “And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh” (Mark 10:8).

4. Good can come from marriage because it is a good testimony to society of harnessed passion.

Passion is good when expressed in the confines of marriage; outside of marriage it becomes a ravaging wolf. Paul said, “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency” (I Corinthians 7:5). “Incontinency” is living without controls or restraints. God is saying in this verse that in a special dispensation of fasting and prayer husbands and wives are permitted to politely keep their distance in the matters of physical intimacy. This is to be temporary, then come together as husband and wife and find power to resist temptations that would compromise moral actions. In mercy, God has allowed marriage to meet every desire of a man and woman. How beautiful to see a spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy family that is under control! “That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel (Greek metaphor for body) in sanctification and honour” (I Thessalonians 4:4).

5. Good can come from marriage because it is God’s way to bring children in the world for His glory and Divine purposes.

The outstanding businessman and founder of Chick-Fil-A, Truett Cathy expressed the point I am trying to make in the title of his book, “It's Better to Build Boys than Mend Men.” In other words, it is better to deliver a child “from” a life of alcoholism, drug addiction or sexual promiscuity than it is to deliver a man or woman “out of” a life of the same. The Word of God says, “And did not he make one?...And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed...” (Malachi 2:15). God has brought man and woman together to bring children into the world so that we may deliver the children back to Him in righteousness. What a mandate from heaven! “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Much good can come from marriage! God said, “Marriage is honourable in all” (Hebrews 13:4). “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).

 

-Pastor Pope