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Lt. Col. James R. Cain, Jr., in Memoriam

Yesterday we celebrated the life of our church member and friend of a lifetime, Lt. Col. James R. Cain, Jr. He was the greatest American hero I knew, having accumulated three Silver Stars for Valor, three Bronze Stars for Valor, Legion of Merit, two Purple Hearts, three Meritorious Service Awards, Good Conduct Service, Good Conduct Medal and Combat Infantryman Badge. The Colonel was nominated for the highest honor given to a man in combat, the Congressional Medal of Honor. One of the requirements to be awarded with this honor is that you must have an eyewitness, however, in this battle, he was the only survivor. To say that the Colonel and I had good chemistry is an understatement. If you were counted his friend, you were a recipient of the Proverbs 18:24 promise, “...and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

As I write these words I am on my way down to Corpus Christi to speak at his graveside with full military honors inclusive of the gun salute and traditional flag folding and presentation. Rarely would a week go by for a decade when we would not lunch together or have some form of communication. You can really get to know someone if you spend time with that person. One of the hardest things to do is to keep this article short, because I want to write on several truths the Colonel either taught me or reminded me of. I must limit it to seven:

1. Lean Forward in Life’s Foxhole
The Colonel asked me once, “Pastor, do you know the difference between in-coming and out-going?” (This was in reference to military artillery). He continued, “Out-going is boom/swish! In-coming is swish/boom! And when you hear the swish sound first you’d better duck in that foxhole.” When he was extremely stressed out or in physical trials, I would ask him, “How are you doing Colonel?” And he would answer, “I am leaning forward in the foxhole.” Here’s what he was saying, “I am under attack, the incoming is doing the swish/boom, I may be in the foxhole, but I am leaning forward, waiting for the first opportunity to get out of here and fight my way to victory.” In this aspect, it was his way of saying, I’m not quitting. He would often tell me, “Pastor, keep leaning forward in that foxhole!” And thus my old friend would encourage me not to quit. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9).

2. Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way
In the Colonel’s life there was no room for mediocrity. Lead, follow or get out of the way! The Colonel’s gift was leadership. He made a difference between forcing and leading. He once shared with me a lesson he taught one of his junior officers who was having leadership problems. It was a simple yet profound illustration. He pulled out a piece of string from his desk and stretched it out in front of the young officer sitting in front of him. Then he told him, “Push it.” When the young officer pushed it, it bunched up and in less than a moment, the string had no direction whatsoever. Then the wise commanding officer (Cain), grabbed one end of the string and began to pull it and it flowed freely all over the desk as the Colonel pulled it along. The point was made by our senior ranking officer that, he who leads men must set the pace and lead - and if you lead, men will follow with a flowing freedom, but if you rudely, crudely push, life will “bunch up” on you and you’ll go nowhere and neither will your men. I am reminded of the Scripture when Jesus said, “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you” (John 13:15). True leadership leads by example without being pushy.

3. Be Positive
The Colonel often said, “I want you to play the song “My Life’s Been Grand” at my funeral, because it has been. He would say, “Any day you wake up six feet above ground is a good day.” He always had a knack for seeing the glass half full, not half empty. The Bible tells us, “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say” Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). We are commanded by God to rejoice in all circumstances. We should be thermostat Christians not thermometer Christians. The thermometer registers the temperature in the room and tells us the temperature, whereas the thermostat is set at the desired temperature and adjusts accordingly, if it is too hot, it cools the room off, if is too cool, it kicks on the heat on.

4. Honor the Authority God Has Placed Over You
The Colonel used to say, “I have no use for a man who does not speak respectfully nor act kindly to his mother.” Oftentimes he would reminisce over the treasured lessons his father taught him. James R. Cain, Sr. said, “Treat every day as though it were your last, because one day it will be.” His son followed that advice until his last day. Blessings follow the man or woman that honor their parents and keep this important commandment. Although the Colonel had several close encounters with death, one reason I believe he lived as long as he did was in fulfillment of the fifth commandment: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12).

5. Be a Gentleman
Always, the Colonel was a gentleman. Once when his wife Beverly wasn’t feeling well, he asked me after lunch, “Would you go with me to get some flowers for Beverly?” I answered, “Sure, let’s go for it.” While at the florist, he suggested, “Let’s get some flowers for your mother and Mrs. Deihl also.” The Bible says, the husband should be “...giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel...” (I Peter 3:7). I was deeply impressed that here was a man who not only honored his wife, but the widow who had no husband. He was a true southern gentleman.

6. Stand Up for the Right
The Colonel had very strong pro-life convictions. He believed and fought for the life of the unborn; abortion sickened him. Many times he wrote to those in authority to behave and do the right thing. Several times he wrote a certain president of the United States asking him of resign because of his moral failures. Proverbs 29:2 says, “When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.” He loved his country and always wanted what was best for America. Knowing this is a government of the people, by the people, for the people, he made his voice heard with strong conviction. He had an unwavering standard that defined right as right and wrong as wrong, without any compromise in between.

7. Unconditional Love
One quality the Colonel practiced that I admired tremendously was his unconditional love toward his family. He humorously would say about each daughter he had, “This is my favorite daughter.” He did not play favorites; it was his way of saying, I love my daughters as much as any man can love one girl. The Colonel did what he believed was best for his daughters. When a young man showed more than a little interest in his eldest daughter, that young man was transferred to Germany. On another occasion another young man showed inappropriate interest in his youngest daughter and he ended up being transferred to Korea. I know I could incorporate some humor here, but instead I want to make a point that here was a man that would do whatever was necessary to protect his girls. By the way, years later both of these girls told their dad thank you for his parental intervention. The Bible says, “...Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love...” (Jeremiah 31:3). That’s the way God loves us and that’s the way James R. Cain. Jr. loved his family. He shall be greatly missed.

- Pastor Pope