The Friendship Factor
Everyone needs a friend. As I think back in life the times that I am the loneliest is when I have been cut off from friendship. God has intrinsically built within mankind the friendship factor. I think of that touching phrase of Scripture that says, “And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden” (Genesis 3:8). We find the first man and woman were approached by God after they had sinned. God came calling in “the cool of the day.” It appears that God’s custom was to take a daily walk with Adam and Eve. Man was designed to have friendship with his Maker. “That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ” (I John 1:3).
We, like thousands of other Houstonians finally had our roof replaced this past week. I also visited the dentist yesterday to take care of a minor dental problem, and while there made appointments for the rest of the family. Before our son Jonathan headed back to college he had a physical. Mrs. Pope helped our youngest son, Sean obtain his driver’s license. I could go on and name things this week we have done that are all considered part of life and routine. No argument about their individual importance, but if I were to ask you what did you do this week to cultivate wholesome friendship, what would you say? Listen to these words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “We take care of our health, we lay up money, we make our roof tight, and our clothing sufficient, but who provides wisely that he shall not be wanting in the best property of all - friends?”
How is your friendship factor working? I would like to ask you today, with hopefully a measure of satisfaction in supplying an answer: What purpose does a friend fulfill?
First of all, a friend is someone who gives us a sense of belonging. I can think of no closer friendship in the Bible than the friendship with David and Jonathan the Bible says, “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (I Samuel 18:1). The word for knit is the Hebrew word, qashar, which means to bind, to tie, to unite. Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love! I’m thinking of a little lady that some youth visited in the convalescent home one day. One of the young ladies read the name of the lady above her hospital bed and called her by her first name, saying “So, Helen, how are you today?” The little lady began to cry. The young girl apologized if she disturbed her. The old lady said, “No, my dear, I am crying because it has been twenty years since someone called me by my first name.” What a shame! Everyone needs a sense of belonging.
Secondly, a friend is someone who strengthens you to do what you need to do. Going back to our model friendship of David and Jonathan, we find that at one of David’s lowest ebbs, the Bible says, “And Jonathan Saul's son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God” (I Samuel 23:16). What a perfectly lovely expression, “strengthened his hand in God.” The word strengthen is the Hebrew word chazaq, which means to make strong, to grow strong, to be firm, make bold, encourage. This is a boon that friendship brings, strength supplied from a relationship that encourages you to do right. Make no mistake, we are affected by those with whom we associate. That is why the Bible says, “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly…” (Psalm 1:1). The wrong associations will prod you toward the wrong direction; the true friend from God will aid you in the right direction.
Finally, a friend is someone to whom you can pour out your heart. King Saul was hunting for the life of David. Jonathan had to be the one to inform him to stay on the run, meaning they would not see each other for a long time. The Bible records their final meeting for a long while. “And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded. And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city” (I Samuel 20:41, 42). How transparent is the inspired Word when it said, they “wept with one another, until David exceeded.” Imagine crying aloud with a friend until you could cry no more. Now, in most cases you wouldn't need to go that far, but the Bible does not rebuke this behavior. It is as though God is modeling this to help us when we are in trouble or at wit’s end. A friend is someone to whom you can talk. There are many reasons men give for why they do not open up their hearts and talk to another person. They often feel if they show their vulnerability they will be less masculine. Many believe if they open up to another person they will be hurt further, perhaps from the very one they disclose their innermost thoughts. Today there may be someone reading this that needs permission to find a friend and tell him or her of your situation. Well, God gives you permission!
Always remember that we have no greater friend than Jesus, He is the friend that is closer than a brother. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
-Pastor Pope-