How a Husband Should Love His Wife
In this changing paradigm of parenting one could only hope, at best, to become paragon of Christian maturity that exemplifies the wisdom of God. I find that our married children are asking questions that has moved us to another level of relationship. I like the change; however, the accountability is even more requiring. We have four children, three of whom are married. So the count is now, two daughters, two sons-in-law, two sons, and one daughter-in-law, and we cannot forget, two most wonderful grandchildren. Please don’t stop reading this in fear that Grandpa is going to set off in a nostalgic whimsical discussion of his grandchildren. I want to address a very important and caring question from one of the boys. The question was, “How do I love my wife?” What a good question. I could say very honestly, after almost thirty years of marriage, I am still in the learning process, but that won’t help him now.
So, in a fatherly way and for the members of Christchurch, prayerfully a pastorally way, I want to address this most important subject in a highly abridged method. How does a husband love his wife?
The Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:24). What an auspicious responsibility! According to Scripture, the husband is to love and care for his wife with the same type of love and care that Jesus gives to His bride. With that in mind, a husband should therefore,
1. Love His Wife Unconditionally
This is the way Christ loves us, just as we are. "The LORD did not set his love upon you, nor choose you, because ye were more..." (Deuteronomy 7:7). The Lord did not respect persons and compare us with anyone else; He loves us for who we are not because of what we will become to earn that wonderful love. So also will the husband love his wife, as he promised for better or for worse; in sickness and in health; in poverty as in wealth.
2. Love His Wife Permanently
Did not our Lord say, "...I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). No marriage is safe whenever divorce is considered an option. A husband should not house the thought in the back of his mind, “Well, if things do not work out….” You, Sir, are the head of the home, as so commissioned by our Lord; it is your responsibility to take the initiative in every course of action to assure the home will remain in tact. We as husbands should take our Lord as the role model, who promises never to leave His bride. A woman feels safe in this environment. Her trust of him is enhanced and their love becomes richer.
3. Love His Wife by Time Spent with Her
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;". Jesus said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).
After the Lord Jesus, your wife should be considered your best friend. Consider the thought of laying down your life for your precious wife. How can we do this? The chances are strong there may not be one moment in time that you will be allowed to champion her cause in one life-saving episode. On the other hand, all of us as husbands are under the requirement to lay down our life for our wife. How then shall we do this? What is life made up of other than time? We calculate its length by years. Years are made up of months, months are made up of days, days are made up of hours, and hours are made up of minutes. We are correct in saying that when I give great lengths of the commodity of time, I am in essence laying down my life for my wife. "Redeeming the time, because the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:16).
4. Love His Wife by Words Spoken to Her
The Bible speaks of Christ’s word to his Church in this phrase: "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word" (Ephesians 5:26). The word “sanctify” means to set apart and make special. Truly, the husband that communicates with his wife will make her set apart and special as well. As a matter of fact, I believe his willingness to talk and express his love to her by conversation will do much to create a trust that also nourishes a permanency in their relationship. I love the verse in Hebrews that expresses the power of Christ’s Word, “...and upholding all things by the word of his power...."(Hebrews 1:3). How we as husbands need to uphold the home in the words to the wife God has given us!
Those are four simple rules to keep in mind, if husbands are to love their wife and be the savior of the home as Christ is the Savior of the Church. Next week, I want to give you seven practical, day-to-day ways a husband should love his wife.
- Pastor Pope -